A Word On Faith

  It has been said that there are "no atheists in foxholes." I heard a story one time of a guy who went to Vietnam and met another guy who claimed to be an atheist. He saw the same guy a couple of weeks later and he had a necklace on with every conceivable religious symbol known to man. There was a cross, an ankh, a Jewish star, and some kind of claw plus others. He asked him, "What do you believe? I can't tell by your necklace." The guy replied with wide eyes, "Man, in my position, I can't afford to piss anyone off."
  I think that having a life threatening illness is a definite foxhole and maybe a little like Vietnam warfare. There you are, in a dense jungle of doubt with some unseen enemy lurking behind every shadow waiting to take you out. There are no clear answers and you don't even know why you're there. It becomes all about survival. At this point you find out that it is safer in numbers. The question is you and who? Now I'm not here to tell you what to believe and that isn't my job, despite what many well-meaning religious folks might think. The fact is that religion itself rarely gets anyone anywhere. You can be religious about anything. It is where you go when you get into trouble. You can be religious about your pocketbook, Starbucks, Facebook, astrology, "green" living and the list goes on. If you take drugs you can be a religious dope smoker and I know plenty. Do you race for your medicine cabinet any time you think you "might" get a headache? I have done that a couple of times.
  It happened like this. I was a dumb teenager. I had too much too drink and decided it would be a good idea to run my 74' Honda Civic (the size of a shoe) down a very steep hill and "end it all." I rammed this little car through  a block wall, a two car garage, and totaled two full-size Cadillac luxury vehicles. Nothing happened to me. I ended up in court with a public defender who told me, "This judge is tough, you are going down and there is nothing I can do for you." It was at this point I made a fateful bargain with the unknown. I was standing there before the judge and said to myself, "Ok whoever you are up there, if you are real, get me out of this and I promise to make a real effort to find out who you are." The judge looked at me and said, "I don't have any paper work on you, case dismissed!" The defender and I stood there with our mouths open. On the way back to his office he said, "I have never seen that happen." I was thinking about the bargain I just made and figured I was in big trouble. For the next few months I had to take a bus and walk two blocks alone to where I worked at the Mission Hills Cemetery. I found out not too long ago that my walking route was between three major gang territories. You need to know that I am a shrimpy white girl with blonde hair and more than likely stuck out like a sore thumb. Somebody was watching out for me.
  I did make an effort to find out who and what I believed in. I have studied every "ism" out there. I have hung out and listened to New Age stuff and gazed into crystals. I have checked out witchcraft and the Satanic bible written by Howard Stanton Levey, a former carnival worker.  When I got into trouble I tried to run to these things and was met with mainly silence. I found that most of these mentioned have an ever-dangling carrot you have to chase to receive anything back. Some of them have "secret knowledge" you have to attain. Just tell me now! I have the same thought for people who tell me, "If you send a certain amount, we will send you this miracle information or bible study." How about telling me right now! Since when do you have the corner on bible info? My final conclusion? There is a God, and I am gratefully not him. How do I know? Because I met him.
  If you are still reading it means you haven't clicked me off yet. Here it is. I did not hear a Charlton Heston like voice booming over me. It happened in more practical ways. I always thought religious people were nerdy, hair-sprayed, polyester wearing jerks and I wanted no part in that. To this day TBN gets on my nerves. I asked some simple questions in my own way and figured if he made me he could take it. Besides, I didn't know any religious lingo to throw out. Here's an example, "If you aren't some dumb slogan on a bumper sticker then show me." How about this one, "If I go to heaven I do not want to be with any of these people!" My mom called me to tell me about a bumper sticker she saw that read, "Dear Jesus, save me from your followers." I like that one.
  So how about you? Where do you go when you are in a foxhole with the enemy advancing? I'll tell you this from experience, it better be something a little more daunting than a shiny rock or some incense. Human beings were built for relationship. We weren't made to maverick it even though we would like to. I am an avid western fan. The other day I was watching "Pale Rider" a famous Clint Eastwood movie. The main character (Eastwood) never mentions his name. We are left at the end to ponder. Is he a ghost? A reincarnated sheriff bent on revenge perhaps? Laying in the hospital with tubes and monitors sticking out of you in all directions like a 50's home-made television set is not the time to ponder. Real, and I mean real fear sets in lightning fast my friend and you need some real answers.
  To make a long story short I got my answers. Take a chance, ask a few questions yourself. Request that the answers be given that only the unique you can understand, in your language. This is not Vegas and you've got absolutely nothing to loose. I'm still the same shrimpy white girl I was, only with less hair and a little better for the wear and the lessons that I have learned. I have lived through a deadly illness and didn't have to go it alone.

Edmond: "I don't believe in God."
Abbe Faria: "It doesn't matter. He believes in you."
-from The Count of Monte Cristo

Stay tuned as next time we will take on "Recovery?"